She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize