Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
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We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
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I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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