I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Randomize
