haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
