Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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