tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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