New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
