i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
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