I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
