stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
