Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
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