I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
