I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize