he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Randomize
