Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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