maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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