shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Congratulations! We have a period
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