i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize