Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
