guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Randomize
