You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
That's how pantless uber rides happen
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
