no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Randomize