My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Randomize
