fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
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