When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
