I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Four minutes until I can fart!
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
