Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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