I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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