Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
