Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
