i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize
