Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize