I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
ugly people sure do ruin things
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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