We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
