Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Did I show you my penis last night?
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
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