Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
it's great music for shaving your balls
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Randomize
