I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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