So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
