even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Randomize
