there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
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