shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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