He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
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