His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Randomize
