I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
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