I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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