why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
