Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
