Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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