moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
My day in three words: secret purse cake
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
