the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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