He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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