i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
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