I'm drive I can fine osifer
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
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