just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
