things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
