I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize