I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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