sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
What drink are we having for lunch?
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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