Who wears a wallet chain?!
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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