just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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