Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
