how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize