you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
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Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
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STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
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