went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
