jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
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