At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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